How to Become a Contributor
So, you've decided you want to become a writer for the most reliable news source in the world, The Babylon Bee. Maybe you had a really funny idea for a headline. Maybe you're a seasoned, grizzled writer and want to spend the golden years of your career churning out fake news for Jesus. Whatever your reasons, you've come to the right place.
First off: Are you a serious writer or an occasional headline idea generator?
As you may have guessed, The Babylon Bee gets several trillion headline submissions a day, and most of them aren’t up to snuff. Some of these eager Christ-followers just have a single funny idea they want to share. Others see themselves as comedy machines, churning out gold they want to share with us. Whichever you may be, we love your enthusiasm.
Option 1: The Headline Forum
If you simply have a funny idea for a headline, we highly encourage you to subscribe for exclusive access to our headline forum. The headline forum is where subscribers collaborate with us, submitting ideas and voting on them, so that the best headlines rise to the top. This is the best way to get a single headline to us for consideration. If you want to write for The Babylon Bee on a regular basis, submitting headlines and articles often, then this next part is for you.
Option 2: Submit a Contributor Application
If you have read this far, then you probably already stand among the elect who are willing to go above and beyond to join the greatest force for satire in all of Christendom.
If you want to be a paid contributor, you fit this description:
- You are a comedy firehose, with a nonstop eruption of hilarious ideas coming out of you all day.
- You are familiar with The Babylon Bee and have a fair grasp of satire and our writing style.
- You are familiar with Christian culture and keep abreast of the day's issues
- You aren't in it for the fame (pieces are published anonymously)
If you're still reading, there are a few things we are going to need from you.
- You need to create a cover letter introducing yourself. Get our attention!
You need to come up with 30 headline samples:
- Ten of these headlines should be about church culture and be directly related to Christianity in some way.
- Ten of them should be from the news of the day, stories that are happening right now. Politics, world affairs, whatever. Look over the day's headlines and find the absurdity therein and churn it into comedy gold.
- Ten of them should be about everyday life, entertainment, pop culture, or modernliving. In short, these can be about anything you want.
- You need to turn one of your 30 ideas into a full article. Read on for some writing guidelines.
- The goal of The Babylon Bee is to communicate truth through humorous satire of Christian pop culture, American culture, politics, theology, and current events.
- Standard news satire articles will fall in the 200-250 word range.
- Your headline should be concise and punchy, and should summarize the article.
- Capitalize the first letter in every word of your headline.
- Use newspaper headline grammar where possible, but feel free to bend these rules in order to achieve clarity.
- We roughly follow the AP Stylebook in terms of our voice and the language used. Your article should read like a dry news piece with some humor, irony, and clever contrasts sprinkled in.
To recap, your submission email should contain:
- A cover letter introducing yourself
- 30 headlines: 10 Christian ideas, 10 political ideas, 10 general ideas
- One sample story that is 250-500 words long
You should now have more than enough to work with if you are super serious about contributing to the Bee. Please email your submission to [email protected] and to make sure we know you actually followed the guidelines, put COMPLETE SUBMISSION in all caps in the subject line.
Following all these guidelines does not guarantee we will respond to you, but it does help us sift through the material we are sent to find the right kind of people to be regular contributors. Thanks in advance for taking the time to send us your ideas.
Does the Bee pay contributors?
Yes, regular contributors are compensated. Rates are discussed after you make it through the grueling submission process.
Does the Bee credit contributors?
No, all pieces are published anonymously. However, if your contributions are published, you are welcome to share them on your social accounts and take credit for them.
Does the Bee own my submissions?
By emailing us your submissions, you’re handing them over to The Babylon Bee and giving us express permission to edit, modify, and publish your submissions. However, we’re not jerks and don’t usually publish them without contacting you first. Any similarity between your submission and an article we publish is likely coincidental as we get a billion of them every day and don’t have time to read them all.
How often do you use contributors’ ideas?
Rarely. Only the best of the best make it on the site.