U.S.—100 million Americans who were previously hesitant to get vaccinated are rejoicing today after the FDA approved it, proving that everything is totally safe.
According to sources, the Food and Drug Administration is completely trustworthy and has never approved harmful drugs for the public before. Those sources further confirmed that the FDA is a part of the government, which has never lied or been incompetent or corrupt in any way.
"Yeah, I've always trusted the government and drug companies, so I guess I'm ok to get the vaccine now," said Bubba Snugglebrugg, who was previously a militant anti-vaxxer. "I can't wait to get my 'Fauci Ouchie' and wear my Pfizer sticker! Thanks, FDA!"
Sources within the FDA say the vaccine went through a rigorous approval process of various government bureaucrats saying "Oh well, what the heck—we may as well approve this now", and signing a very important-looking document with a government seal and some big words on it.
"That's good enough for me!" said Snugglebrugg.