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Americans Ready To Move On To The Next Dumb Thing

U.S.—Though the media continues to bleat on about the dumb thing and Twitter pundits continue to use over-the-top rhetoric, Americans seem ready to move on the next dumb thing.

“I know everyone is really riled up about it,” said Everett Friedman, an electrician, “but it’s all very dumb and it’s getting kind of boring. Can’t we obsess over some new idiotic thing for a change?”

Many pundits were appalled by the suggestion. “This is the most important issue our republic has ever faced!” commented blue checkmark journalist Ashton Lyon about the stupid thing no one really cares about -- this being 27th dumb thing this year about which he’s declared that.

Adding fuel to the fire, President Trump recently tweeted about the stupid thing, making people act like the thing is even more important than it is and also making it all even dumber.

Still, Americans are tired of it and want to move on. “So dumb,” said Louise Clifford, who works in HR.

Not only are Americans tired of the current dumb thing, some just want to get the 2020 election over with so they can know whether or not they’re ready to move on to the next dumb thing there.

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