WASHINGTON, D.C.—In recounting her terrifying experience in the Capitol when America's sacred and holy democracy was assaulted by Lin Wood's Twitter followers, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez revealed that the attack was much more horrible and terrifying than anyone originally thought.
"At one point, two scary men in MAGA hats, like, literally threw copies of Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell, literally right at me," said AOC. "They said: 'Read this! Read this please!' in their very scary man voices. I thought at that moment I was going to die. I'm lucky to still be standing before you today."
AOC and other representatives are calling for Republicans and all their voters to be held accountable for the brazen terrorist attack, and have called for all copies of Basic Economics to be burned immediately. "I heard Thomas Sowell is a notorious white supremacist, so his book has no business being sold in stores let alone being thrown at innocent congresspeople in D.C.," said AOC.
At the time of publishing, FBI officials confirmed there were two more deadly copies of Basic Economics found on site after the attack on the Capitol.
"We're lucky we found these books before someone else did," said one investigator. "Thousands could have been injured."