U.S.—As the coronavirus lockdowns continue, all salons have been forced to do the unthinkable and close their doors. Women throughout the nation have gone from concern to panic, wondering when they will be able to return to the salons.
In their desperation, women are now willing to get their haircut by any means necessary, even if it means breaking the law. “I’ve never committed a crime in my life,” said Karen Duegood, “but not being able to get a root touch up or a cut and color is absolute madness!”
Karen is one of many women in the Lansing area that feels this way. Left with no choice but to break quarantine in search of a hairstylist, that’s when she discovered Keith Powell. Despite his dingy setup in a dark, back alley, many are able to look past that if it meant getting their hair done. He offers his customers a seat on a garbage can and covers them with a scented trash bag. Wasting no time, Mr. Powell pulls out a pair of grimy scissors and gets to work.
“Looks good!” said the seedy man as he made his finishing touches, “Maybe my best work yet. Now, that’ll be $200!”
“I’m not paying you that much! I demand to speak to the manager!” said Karen struggling to make out her reflection on a nearby greasy dumpster. “I uh--I guess I’m the manager,” shrugged the likely homeless man. “Fine, take your money, I don't have time for this!” she replied before storming off.
When she finally got home and saw her reflection she screamed until she fainted. Fortunately for her and many others like her, the extended quarantine might just give her enough time for her botched haircut to grow back.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.