Christian Living
Baptists Delighted They Can Now Wear Masks At Liquor Store

U.S.—Baptist believers have reported they are "utterly delighted" to learn they can now wear full face masks at the liquor store, preventing anyone from recognizing them.

As soon as people started wearing masks in public, Baptists jumped at the opportunity to cover their entire faces while purchasing beer, wine, and hard liquor. Pastors and lay believers alike rushed their local alcohol shops, stocking up on cases of beer and wine. Liquor stores all across the nation have reported a massive increase in sales from masked Baptists, keeping local economies afloat during this tough time.

"We get to cover our faces at the liquor store? I'm all over it," said one Baptist pastor in Cincinnati as he fashioned a full-coverage face mask out of some old choir robes. "But uh, just to be clear: I'm just going in there to check and see if any of my church members are buying alcohol. It's, uh, my pastoral duty."

"And maybe I'll pick up some Welch's for Communion, while I'm over there," he added as he slipped on his mask, concealing his identity entirely, and headed out to do his "ministry."


Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 10 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.