WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to growing requests from his base, Biden has issued an executive order to form a commission on whether we should throw out the Constitution or not.
"Look folks, here's the deal, Jack-- for real this time. No more messin' around. Are we really even using the Constitution anymore anyways?" he said in a statement. "Maybe we can just get rid of the old thing! Maybe we can recycle it! Green! But we... we... anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah- they told me to sign this fancy executive thingy, so I am."
The commission will be bipartisan-- equally divided between people who think the Constitution is really awesome, and people who are sworn to destroy America and all of Western Civilization if it's the last thing they ever do.
AOC has criticized the commission as a "needless distraction" from the important mission of destroying the Constitution and is calling for it to be destroyed immediately so we can get it all over with.
Kamala Harris also commented on the new commission, saying: "HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The commission is expected to release a 32 billion page report detailing all their findings after the President passes on in the next year or so.