WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid concerns that the national debt may be spiraling out of control, Biden calmed fears in a statement that he has a plan to pay off the debt by capturing a leprechaun and stealing all his gold.
"Don't worry folks-- it's gonna be fine!" said Biden. "I saw a rainbow this morning when my sprinklers went off. You know what's at the end of a rainbow, don't you? I'm gonna get me some of that leprechaun gold and pay off the debt-- just like that!"
Economist Paul Krugman praised the idea as "sound" even though it's never been proven to work before. "Computer models indicate that Biden's the best and this is a good idea," he said.
According to sources, Biden will be mobilizing the National Guard-- which has been sitting around D.C. with nothing to do since Biden's inauguration-- to hunt down a leprechaun and bring its plunder back to the treasury.
"We're just happy to have something to keep us occupied," they said.