WASHINGTON, D.C.—When Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden was told his vice presidential pick would be Kamala Harris, he was initially pleased. “She is young, bright, clean, and articulate just like that other guy, Obeemer."
But Kamala Harris is reportedly beginning to think that "this Biden guy" is really going to slow down her campaign.
"He's old and confused, and there's not much upside there," she told aides. "And the sniffing -- what is with the sniffing?"
"I'm starting to think he's dead weight."
Democrat analysts quickly began to express their doubts about the ticket. “Why is that old guy on Harris's ticket? Kamala should have picked that nice young mayor from the Midwest. Ben something? Pete! That's it. He would have been a great match for her -- not sure why she's sticking with Joe."
Democratic strategist Benjessi Normaton was blunter, tweeting out: “It's time for Biden to step down from the Harris campaign.”
DNC operatives have been unavailable for comment, though unnamed insiders have hinted that all is going according to plan, and that Biden won't be a problem for much longer.