WASHINGTON, D.C.—Liberal meteorologists have long predicted a towering blue wave would crash over Washington, D.C. today but are now downgrading the predicted wave to a gentle, calming mist.
"Our models do show some blue moisture settling over Washington, but it's closer to a light, tender sprinkle now," said one weather expert reporting on the developing election. "Just enjoy the pleasant blue mist that will bring more division and gridlock to Washington, making things harder to accomplish for both parties."
"Drink this in while you can," he added.
At publishing time, Democrats had been predicted to win the House of Representatives by a comfortable margin, causing meteorologists to caution the nation to brace for a heavy flurry of Trump tweets by tomorrow morning.