HOLLYWOOD, CA—The Oscars broke out into chaos and panic as Chris Hansen of To Catch a Predator fame suddenly appeared on the stage.
Actors, producers, and directors all scrambled to find the exit, screaming in terror as the former Dateline NBC host popped out of the scenery.
"Why don't you all just have a seat right there?" Hansen said sternly as he stared at the audience, a look of disapproval and disgust plastered on his face.
Several celebrities escaped into the lobby and attempted to bash through the glass doors of the building, but Hansen was too quick for them, leaning in their way and blocking their path. "Going somewhere?" he asked. "I just want to have a talk about the way you're preying on women and other innocent people. Let's sit down and have a little chat."
Panicked actors climbed to the roof of the building and escaped by way of their waiting private jets and helicopters, though each was horrified to see their pilot turn around and reveal himself to be Chris Hansen.
"Let's have a little talk," he said as they screamed in terror.