U.S.—Chick-fil-A has introduced a subscription service that allows you to take bulk delivery of their delicious food every Saturday evening to help you survive every Sunday morning.
Subscribers receive a bulk delivery every Saturday evening before Chick-fil-A closes with enough food to get their family through the trial and tribulation of an entire Sunday without Chick-fil-A.
"Tired of braving the lengthy Chick-fil-A line just before closing every Saturday night?" asked a Chick-fil-A rep. "Now, you don't have to bother putting in your order every week or rushing to beat closing time. Instead, you'll wake up Sunday morning to the delicious smell of Chick-fil-A on your doorstep."
The restaurant got the idea after they noticed families ransacking the restaurant every night in a desperate attempt to pick up food before it's too late. Company spokespeople said that when the "Open" light goes off on Saturday night, there are still screaming families outside banging on the door and begging for just one more Chick-fil-A order.
The boxes containing your bulk delivery of chicken sandwiches, milkshakes, nuggets, and fries will be equipped with a sound chip like the ones used in expensive greeting cards. When you open the box, a prerecorded message will say, "My pleasure."
Chick-fil-Saturday subscriptions are expected to run anywhere from $50 per week for a family of four to $1,000 per week for a homeschool family.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.