Christian Living Scripture
Child Who Has All 807 Pokemon Memorized Having Trouble Reciting Awana Verse

CEDAR SPRINGS, IL—Sources working at Grace Baptist Church’s Awana ministry confirmed Tuesday that local church kid Aiden Paul, who has the names, attacks, statistics, and types of all 807 Pokemon species committed to memory, was still having trouble reciting John 3:16 to his Awana counselor.

“For God so loved the begotten son?” the kid who could tell you the exact level at which Charizard learns the move Flamethrower said shakily as he attempted to recite the short Bible verse at the church’s most recent Awana Club meeting. “Ugh. It’s just too hard. I can’t do it! This is stupid. I give up.”

“Why do we have to remember stuff like this anyway? I wish we could learn something useful like strategies for defeating the Elite Four,” he mumbled.

After the club meeting, Paul was seen discussing Pokemon with several of his friends, and the youngster excitedly rattled off the evolution chains of Pokemon like Eevee, Elekid, and Gastly from memory, according to witnesses.

At publishing time, the child who has trouble reciting Romans 3:23 was seen carefully studying a Minecraft players’ guide and had memorized the recipes for crafting over a hundred different tools, items, and potions in the popular video game.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.