BOSTON, MA—After classic pop standard "Baby, It's Cold Outside" came on the radio Tuesday morning, local Christian man Frank Larson wondered aloud why this unmarried couple was alone in the first place.
Larson expressed his confusion and bewilderment throughout the song as it became increasingly clear that the couple was in a private residence without any kind of chaperone checking in on them.
"I kept waiting for their chaperone to pipe in with a stanza or two, but there was nothing," he said, puzzled. "I mean, from the lyrics, they were all cozied up together enjoying the fire when she said it was time to go. Where was their youth pastor or other adult companion accompanying them? It just doesn't make any sense."
"If they were having a Bible study, I guess I understand. But at least have your accountability buddy phone in every 15-20 minutes," he added.
Larson also complained that the couple appeared to be having several drinks, but never made a reference to the beverages being non-alcoholic. "Sharing a nice diet root beer with a female is fine, assuming you've got a chaperone. But the song clearly implies that these are alcoholic beverages! With a female! ALONE!"
The man also cheered the woman on for trying to leave throughout the song and chided the man for not allowing her to, according to sources.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.