Christian Living
Christian Still Using Air Quotes Every Time He Says 'Science'

MOBILE, AL—Sources close to local Christian man Jesse Larson confirmed Monday he is still using air quotes every time he says the word "science."

He uses the air-quotes every time he discusses a claim made by modern science, from climate change to the age of the earth.

"Well, I don't know what modern 'science' says about the temperature of the earth," he told a friend at church Sunday as he whipped out his air quote gesture, "but I can assure you it's not accurate." He further claimed every scientific study that might cause him to examine his biblical worldview and possibly even change his beliefs is a "new world order conspiracy" designed to discredit Christians.

Rather than tackling scientific facts head-on, the believer prefers to simply dismiss any scientific claim that goes against his worldview, holding up the air quotes when he discusses the "science" that challenges his faith.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Larson accepts scientific findings that agree with his worldview—such as on gender and abortion—without question.

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