Church
Church Drummers To Play 70-Minute Solos In Honor Of Neil Peart This Sunday

WORLD—Church drummers all over the world have announced their plans to play 70-minute solos during their services this Sunday in honor of Neil Peart.

Just as congregations begin getting into songs like "Reckless Love," "What a Beautiful Name," and "Who You Say I Am," drummers will just "let loose," calling churchgoers' attention to their percussion skills to the "cheers of the crowd." The planned solos will be "significantly longer" than church drummers' usual 45-minute solos.

The solos will alternate between time signatures throughout, from 10/64 time and 9/17 time to simpler time signatures like X/banana and Quasar/4, "just as Neil would have wanted." Church drummers around the world are also pushing their pastors and leadership teams to buy them several dozen new pieces for their drum kits, so they can give Peart the salute he deserves.

"I can't think of a better send-off for the Great One than building up into a solo on my 17 floor toms, pounding on my triple bass pedal that I definitely need, and then just going absolutely wild on my 67 cymbals," said Graceaholics Community Church drummer Bob Ward. "Solos like this will honor a great drummer and bring glory to God through my epic music skills."

Sadly, most of these drummers only think they are as good as Neil Peart, while they are more on the level of Lars Ulrich.

Reformed churches across the country are begrudgingly allowing the solos but reminded their drummers not to play "Freewill."

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