SOMERSET, TN—Citing the great reverence and honor due the Lord Jesus on the traditional day celebrating His incarnation, Mt. Moriah Baptist Church confirmed Tuesday that their worship service would be canceled on Christmas morning.
“We want to show respect and adoration to our Lord on the day commemorating His birth,” pastor Kyle Redding told reporters. “So we’ll be calling off all the services in which we usually sing praises to Him and study His Word, in order that He’ll be more glorified.”
“Also, I’ll get to play with my new iPad that I just know my wife, Kate, got me. I felt the package. I’m pretty sure it’s the Pro edition.” Redding further stated he was pretty sure this is what Jesus would want on the day marking His taking on flesh and coming into the world to save His people from their sins.
“I can think of nothing more worshipful on the Lord’s Day than foregoing worship services in order to tear into gift after gift after gift from under our ornate tree.”
At publishing time, Mt. Moriah Baptist leaders had confirmed that they would be carefully gauging the success of the initiative designed to increase adoration of Jesus by canceling church, and would consider the cancellation of services that land on other traditional holidays like Easter, Independence Day, and Earth Day, should closing on Christmas prove popular.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.