Church
Church's Sin Problem Eliminated After Pastor Posts 'Sin-Free Zone' Sign In Foyer

HAMPTON, NV—Hampton Totally Not Baptist Community Church had a problem: its members were struggling with sin. 

Pastor Luke Francis was painfully aware of this fact. He tried everything from small groups to sermons based on the latest movies. He knew that sanctification was a long, slow process, but he wanted to jump-start things.

Finally, the pastor figured out a way to banish sin forever: he installed a "Sin-Free Zone" sign in the church's foyer.

"Now that our church is a sin-free zone, members have to surrender their totally depraved fallen nature at the door," he told reporters. "They drop their sinful nature in a bin by the door, and we collect them and donate them to a local strip club."

Some church members tried to conceal-carry their sin, but the pastor said the church is using pat-downs, sin detectors, and random Bible cover checks to make sure nothing gets by. The church doesn't recognize any valid sin conceal-carry permit on the premises, according to church officials.

"Sounds good, doesn't work," the pastor said. "If you try to conceal-carry some sin here, there's a 5-Sundays-serving-in-children's-ministry fine."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.