Politics
CNN Replaces President Trump's Press Briefings With President Xi's

ATLANTA, GA—CNN is refusing to air President Trump's press briefings, calling them propaganda and fake news. Instead, the station will be broadcasting the far more fair, balanced, and accurate daily takes by President Xi Jinping.

"We don't want to broadcast Trump's propaganda, so we'll turn to a far more accurate source," said Brian Stelter. "We pretty much were already repeating the Chinese government's stances word for word, so now we can go straight to the horse's mouth."

Financial costs were also a factor here, according to insiders. Legacy media has been hit hard by the economic shutdown. CNN has had to look for ways to cut corners and save time, and they found out they could save tons of man-hours by just broadcasting President Xi Jinping's press briefings directly.

Now, instead of rewriting Chinese press briefings for an American audience, CNN can just air the communist country's propaganda directly, getting hours' worth of free content to broadcast to empty airports and hotel lobbies.

"We were spending all this time and effort translating his broadcasts and rewriting them, and we figured this was a lot more efficient," said a CNN spokesperson. "Work smarter, not harder."

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