U.S.—In a move to capitalize on the ever-growing market for more tolerant riot equipment, the Fight Fascism Foundation has announced a new line of Coexist-branded Molotov cocktails.
The weapons are equipped with easy-light technology so even teenagers who have never rioted before can fire them up and show their enemies how loving they are with an explosion of fire.
"Rioters' hearts are in the right place," said an FFF representative. "But they've been unable to express their great tolerance for ideas they disagree with as they burn buildings to the ground until now. With our great line of riot products, the victims of your violence will know just how virtuous you are as they fade into unconciousness."
The Molotv cocktails will soon be supplemented by other riot products, such as Coexist rocks, Coexist baseball bats, and Coexist ski masks.
"You'll know a tolerant antifa or Communist rioter by their official FFF Coexist products, purchased from our online store," the rep added.
The Coexist riot gear quickly sold out, with a high volume of sales occurring in the Washington, D.C. area, according to the company.