Politics
Confirmed: Any FBI Investigation You Don't Like Is Massive Conspiracy

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new study confirmed Thursday that any FBI investigation that you disagree with is a massive, far-reaching conspiracy of the deep state.

A team at American Investigative Research Institute performed the study and found that investigations you like are clear evidence that you're correct, while investigations you don't like are huge conspiracies.

"Whether it's a probe into possible connections to Russia or a simple background check of a Supreme Court nominee, the findings are clear," said the organization's head of research, Dr. Bill Atley. "The legitimacy of an FBI investigation is directly correlated to how much you agree with its findings."

Researchers believe that this study points at the fact that truth, once thought to be absolute, is actually now dependent on your opinions.

"We've suspected this for a while," Atley said. "But now, we have definitive proof: truth is directly tied to how much you like the truth, or how it affects your chances at advancing your favorite political causes."

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