GREELEY, CO—According to sources from within Lucerne Baptist Church, the entire congregation saw Pastor Jim’s C.S. Lewis quote coming from a mile away during his sermon Sunday morning.
“Here it comes,” one woman in the back row whispered to her husband, according to witnesses. “Any second now, he’s gonna quote the thing about making mud pies in the slums.”
Sure enough, moments later, the pastor reportedly preached, “Humanity’s great problem is that we try to find satisfaction in things other than God. As C.S. Lewis said…”
As he continued to quote the passage from The Weight of Glory, numerous church members turned and looked at one another knowingly, smug in the knowledge that they had predicted the quote several minutes before the pastor got to it.
“It really wasn’t that difficult,” one attendee told reporters after the service. “He quotes that one every other week. It’s always that or the bit that compares believing in Christianity to believing that the sun has risen.”
At publishing time, sources had also confirmed that the entire congregation predicted the exact Braveheart video clip the pastor would show to illustrate his third sermon point well in advance.