WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to stunned officials working at the National Archives, the text of the United States Constitution has slowly begun disappearing from existence, much like Marty McFly and his family in the classic 1985 sci-fi/adventure film Back to the Future.
Experts stated the text began to mysteriously disappear sometime during the Bush administration and rapidly accelerated under both Barack Obama and Donald Trump.
"It's exactly like in Spielberg's classic adventure film, when the time-loop paradox began to corrupt the timeline and the McFlys slowly started to disappear from existence," Dr. Emmett Christopher, an expert in American history said. "If something isn't done immediately, the entire Constitution will be erased from history forever."
"Great Scott!" he added.
At publishing time, witnesses in New York claimed the Statue of Liberty was also beginning to fade from view.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.