Politics
Corporations Drop LGBT Community Like Hot Tamale Now That Pride Month Over

U.S.—With pride month having ended, corporations across the nation who bravely took a stand for LGBT rights are now tearing down rainbow banners and throwing colorful promotional products in the garbage at an alarming rate. "Take the rainbows down guys, they're giving me a headache," Carl Krumpitz, CEO of fortune 500 company Milner Motor Oil commanded a work crew on the morning of July 1st. "I don't know why the heck motor oil needs to have an opinion on sexuality but whatever, it's July now. Get out the red, white, and blue. And make me a Martini!"

LGBT activist Carol Gaines told reporters, "I'm not sure what products I should buy now that they aren't all blatantly pandering to me."

"It's so nice of these companies to take such a big financial hit for one month out of the year to support such a controversial cause," said another gay activist, Carla Gainsley. "The bravery is just stunning. The gay community—and we are a community—appreciate it."

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