Politics
Democrats Call For Flags To Be Flown At Half-Mast To Grieve Death Of Soleimani

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a press conference held on Capitol Hill Friday, mourning Democrat leaders called for flags to be flown half-mast to honor the death of Qasem Soleimani.

Flags were spotted flying at half-mast around the country, notably at The Washington Post, The New York Times, and in front of several celebrities' homes. The celebrities went out and bought an American flag for the first time just to fly it at half-mast for this important time of grief.

"The grieving process is painful but necessary," said Rep. Ilhan Omar. "As a nation, we need to stop and grieve this great, austere, revered religious scholar. He was one of the good ones."

In a rare moment of unity with The Squad, Pelosi gave each of the girls a hug, telling them to just "let it all out" in their time of sadness.

Ocasio-Cortez didn't seem to know what was happening but adjusted her glasses to look smart.

A teary-eyed Barack Obama was also seen solemnly lowering the flag in front of his seaside mansion. "To think, this all could have been prevented with a few pallets of cash." He sighed and stared off into the distance, a look of pain and regret on his face. "If only Trump had targeted a U.S. citizen with a drone strike instead."

Later, Democrats clarified they meant we should fly the Iranian flag at half-mast, not the "offensive and problematic" American flag.

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