WASHINGTON, DC—After suffering defeat in their bid to impeach President Trump, Democrats in Washington are making the claim that real impeachment has never been tried.
“The unenlightened and uninformed say this is one more example of impeachment that failed,” Nancy Pelosi told reporters, “but what they call ‘impeachment’ isn’t real impeachment at all.”
“What the people don’t understand,” Pelosi continued, “is that real impeachment, like real socialism, will solve all of their problems. The common people can’t be trusted to own things or to elect a President I like. It’s just better for everyone if we in Washington seize the means of election.”
When asked for her definition of real impeachment, Pelosi described it as a fair and unbiased process that would always give her the predetermined outcome she wanted.
“We’re going to keep trying until we get it right,” she declared ominously.
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