Democrats Shudder At Idea Of Having To Legislate Through Congress Should Supreme Court Lean Right

U.S.—With the confirmation vote on a potential new Supreme Court justice looming, Democrats expressed fear and trepidation Friday at the idea of having to actually legislate through Congress instead of courts in the future, should the Supreme Court tilt to the right.

“Oh man, when we want to shove our social agenda down the nation’s throat, we’re going to have to get the legislative branch involved. There’s gonna have to be votes and the whole nine,” a petrified senator, who wished to remain anonymous, said. “If the conservatives get a majority on the Supreme Court, it’ll be back to ‘Schoolhouse Rock.’”

“Legislating through the legislative branch instead of forcing our will on the populace using unelected judges—can you imagine it?” the visibly shaken Democrat said, adding that the American people “don’t approve of liberal position on issues until we legally mandate that they approve of them,” offering the examples of abortion and gay marriage.

The anxiety-ridden senator then described a right-leaning high court as “a hopeless situation,” saying, “An America in which laws are passed by a large body comprised of elected officials whose duty it is to represent their constituency is not the America our founders intended.”

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