WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at the Capitol Building, an angry, deranged protester confronted various Republican senators for voting "yes" on Kavanaugh's nomination, ranting about their moral character and booing them loudly as they attempted to walk by.
Senator Chuck Grassley could be seen walking toward his office when the disfigured woman, clad in rags, leaped forward to confront him.
"Boo! Boo!" she cried. "You to put a person who hates women on the Supreme Court!"
Grassley attempted to converse with the woman, informing her that "I'd have been voted out of office if I hadn't done it."
But the unidentified heckler continued to sling her insults. "We gave this man the responsibility to vote with integrity, and he treated it like garbage! And that's what he is! The king of refuse!" she shouted, stunning all those nearby. "So go on, vote for Grassley if you want! Vote for him! Vote for the king of slime! The king of filth! The king of putrescence!"
As the woman was carried off by police, she continued her deranged shouts: "Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!"
At publishing time, Republican senators were instructed to begin working on building up an immunity to iocane powder after they were mailed several packets of the substance, said to be "odorless, tasteless, and among the more deadlier poisons known to man."