SALT LAKE CITY, UT—Local man Jacob Walker says he’s been a staunch Mormon his whole life, citing as one reason his love of the Bible, which he calls “the sacred holy Scriptures which are exalted and supported by the Book of Mormon with no contradiction in message.” But Walker made a startling discovery Thursday afternoon during some reading time at a local park: according to his own admission, he’s been holding and reading his Bible upside-down all these years.
“Wait one minute here—what is this? Oh, heavens,” onlookers heard him mutter to himself as he turned the Bible to the correct orientation. Flipping through the Scriptures, a wide-eyed Walker was reportedly met with a barrage of unsettling truths that flew in the face of his long held Mormon theology.
“Hold on—God didn’t come from another planet? He does not have a body of flesh and bones? He does not have a goddess wife? He was not once a man just like me? Oh my goodness—really, wow.”
Park passerby reportedly watched as Walker went through a series of texts he has used to defend his belief in key Mormon doctrine, and, now right-side up, he realized they actually disproved his position completely.
“Hold the phone—I’m not going to become a god after I die?” he reportedly realized aloud to himself. “Oh good heavens. I’ve got some serious thinking to do.”