U.S.—Get ready Disney+ users, because there's another reason to use the service besides just rewatching all The Simpsons episodes from season two until the show abruptly ended and went out in a blaze of glory in season ten.
Disney is giving the audience what they want with a Fauci documentary! Just what we asked for. But even better, Disney has confirmed that there will be a separate documentary for each different narrative that Fauci has pushed. The move will reportedly flood Disney with over 500 separate versions of the Fauci doc.
"You can now enjoy this documentary of America's most important public health servant," said a Disney representative. "Well, any one of 500 different documentaries and counting. We'll keep releasing new ones as he tells a different version of his story or changes his mind again. So, yeah. We're gonna be pretty busy for some time."
Even better, according to Disney+ spokespeople, the Fauci movies will all be edited in real-time to keep up with his ever-changing story. "It's pretty much a choose-your-own-adventure documentary at this point."
At publishing time, Disney had reminded everyone that watching Fauci is mandatory, and anyone who does not watch will be added to the FBI's domestic terrorism watchlist.
Chris Smitherson has a problem: he's unvaccinated -- which means he's left out of all activities as he doesn't have COVID like his vaccinated friends. Thoughts and prayers.