Dumb AOC Accidentally Strangles Herself Tying Her Shoes (Because She Is So Stupid)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—While taking a jog yesterday morning, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez attempted to tie her shoe -- a simple thing that even a child can do but she can’t because she is so brain-dumb and likes socialism -- but messed it up so badly with her stupidity that she nearly strangled herself with her shoelaces.

“We were barely able to save her in time from her being so stupid,” said a police officer at the scene, “but maybe we shouldn’t have saved her because she’s a socialist trying to ruin the country. And she is dumb.”

After the police got the shoelaces off her neck, AOC said, “Duh! I like socialism!” and then turned and walked into a tree -- another thing only very dumb people would do as regular smart people know how to walk around trees and not into them. Everyone then laughed at her because she’s dumb and no one likes her.

What an idiot!

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.