EL PASO, TX—An El Paso man reportedly came down from a "totally crazy" acid trip where he hallucinated that he ran for president.
"People were calling me 'Beto' for some reason, the press was treating me like a serious candidate. It was totally wild," he told reporters. "Oh man, I thought I said a bunch of insane [FLOWERBED] about dismantling the Constitution and stealing everybody's guns. And the left was just eating it up."
The man said he has a vague memory of hallucinating about how the press called him the next Obama and published glowing editorials about him. He also said a large part of the trip was just him saying the "F" word over and over again to appear hip and cool. "I'm glad that was just a bad trip and not something that really happened. That would have been totally embarrassing."
"Everyone, remember -- drugs are bad. Stay away from the hard stuff."
Coincidentally, at the same time, the rest of the nation also woke up from a bad dream where the same guy ran for president.