LONDON—UK singer Ellie Goulding was seen near a Salvation Army feed-the-homeless event scolding a homeless man for accepting charity from the "hopeless bigots."
"Oy, mate, did you even research the Salvation Army's stance on LGBTQ people?" she said, wagging her finger. "You've got a social responsibility, mate. We can't just take food from anyone willy-nilly. We've got to ask what stance they have on climate change, the LGBTQ population, and plastic straws."
The singer was applauded by her fans for her brave stance on not accepting food from bigots.
As she continued to lecture the poor man, Goulding suddenly had a real scare as the man pulled out a plastic knife, but it turned out he was just trying to cut his turkey leg. She still reported him to the London police for illegal possession of an unregistered cutting implement.
At publishing time, the majority of the US was still having trouble figuring out who exactly Ellie Goulding is.