U.S.—Experts across the nation are scratching their heads after a series of unearthed text messages showed Joe Biden's son Hunter using racist and sexually charged language.
"We just don't get it," said one researcher with a puzzled look on his face. "How could Hunter have ended up like this-- using racist slurs and grossly inappropriate language? By all accounts, we can't make sense of it. There are simply no major influences in his life who could have raised him to behave and talk in such bizarre and inappropriate ways!"
Hunter Biden's publicist released a statement saying the texts were likely part of a "Russian disinformation campaign" designed to ruin Hunter's spotless reputation.
"Hunter Biden, the son of the President, has enjoyed a spotless reputation throughout his life, and we will not allow this disinformation to tear down his good name," said the statement.
When asked by a reporter to comment on the story, President Biden replied, "Man, you sure are a fine-lookin' black female reporter! Wow! Legs for days! And very articulate. You look 19 with those barrettes in your hair. Where you from, sweetheart? Come on and spend some time with ol' Uncle Joe or you ain't black!"
Experts have promised to continue looking for answers.