RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—The Mannino family has made the lofty resolution to attempt to show up to church no more than 15 minutes late this year.
After years of showing up 30 minutes late to service, the Manninos have decided it's time to better themselves and show up within 15 minutes of the start of service.
Some are calling the resolution "far-fetched," but the Manninos insist that if they try hard and believe in themselves, they can roll into church and miss only three or four worship songs each and every Sunday for this entire year.
"It's tough, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can do it," said Karl Mannino. "I have faith that if we get up at 5 a.m. and really rush, we can show up to our church's 10 a.m. service and only miss, like, a quarter of it all the way through December."
The Manninos are not making any promises, however, when it comes to Bible study. "Oh, yeah, midweek Bible studies don't count," said Desiree Mannino. "We're still gonna pull up about an hour after those start."
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.