FDA Approves Vaping As Effective Method Of Birth Control
Health

U.S.—For over fifteen years, the vaping community has been hoping for FDA approval of vaping, and it appears that day has finally come—as the FDA has issued a ruling approving vaping as an effective method of birth control. 

"Hey, that's cool," said local vape connoisseur Emerson Faye as he took a deep hit of his Fruity Pebbles-flavored vape juice cartridge and flicked his custom brass fidget spinner. "Vaping is my life, man. It's totally cool that the FDA has seen the light. So, what was it approved for, again?" 

According to the latest scientific research, vaping is 100% effective at protecting you from all forms of female attention, allowing you to completely avoid having children you aren't ready for.

"We are startled by how effective this is," said FDA Commissioner Janet Flowerbed. "We found that not only do habitual vapers never have kids, they also tend to have a 100-foot invisible force field surrounding them through which no female will enter. Fascinating." 

The FDA has recommended that if you want to have kids, that you wait until after you have kids to take up vaping, which will help you deal with the stress of the kids.

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