HELL’S KITCHEN, NY—A woman is being heralded as a feminist icon after refusing to let a male firefighter carry her out of a burning building.
According to FDNY firefighters, the woman was spotted in the living room of her home, which had become engulfed in flames. Immediately, one of New York’s bravest charged through the the front door to rescue the helpless woman.
But what happened next will go down in the history books.
As the fireman reached out to pick up the woman and carry her to safety, she stood in defiance, crying out, “What, because I’m a woman, you think I need to be carried? Is that it?” just before her hair burst into flames.
“Ma’am, you are on fire, and your legs appear broken,” the firefighter said calmly, coaxing her to come with him if she wanted to live.
“That’s sooooo typical, hitting on me in the middle of an emergency. Smash the patriarchy!” she screamed.
When it became clear that she would not come with him, the firefighter reluctantly left the building just before it collapsed in a heap of ash and rubble.
At publishing time, the National Organization for Women had announced plans to erect a statue of the brave feminist hero where the building once stood, in honor of her courageous defiance of male dominance.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.