CAMBRIDGE, MA—After Lisa Page finally spoke out against President Trump, masterfully painting herself as the target of Trump's oppression and misogyny, Harvard University quickly hired the former FBI lawyer to teach an upper-level course on how to turn yourself into the victim in any situation.
The course will cover various situations, from getting caught having an affair with a co-worker to conspiring to overthrow a republic, and teach students how to make themselves out to be the victim in any of these scenarios.
"The way Page had an affair and then conspired with her lover to sabotage a democratic election and THEN made herself out to be the victim -- that's the kind of expertise we look for here at our prestigious university," said a spokesperson. "This is the sort of 4D chess we need to teach our students."
Harvard staff praised Page for harnessing the left's hate against Trump and using it to generate sympathy for herself.
"See how she didn't take any responsibility for her wrongdoings, but instead managed to blame patriarchy, misogyny, and President Trump for everything? She's clearly a pro."
Disgraced congresswoman Katie Hill will co-teach the class.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.