Politics
Having Been Betrayed By Republican Judges, Conservatives Vow To Vote Republican Even Harder Next Time

U.S.—Conservatives have been betrayed by Republican-nominated judges yet again. But they have a plan to fight back: they're going to vote Republican even harder next time.

"I'll show the Republican Party a thing or two," growled long-time Republican Bud Harper of Plano, Texas as he cleaned his AR-15. "If they can't get their act together, I'll go right to the ballot box and vote Republican again. Hard."

"If this doesn't show them we mean business, nothing will." He then shot his AR-15 into the air as a warning shot to the Republicans about his plan to keep voting Republican no matter what.

Some suggested Republicans vote third-party or abstain from voting to show they won't tolerate the failures of the Republican Party. These people were laughed out of public discourse for throwing their votes away. "Obviously, these people want Democrats to win and probably want babies to die," said an RNC spokesperson. "Just keep on voting for the party that betrays you at every opportunity, and things will turn around any day now."

"So much winning."

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