POMONA, CA—Get a good look, because this is the face of a true Christian hero.
This man, Jacob Halvorson, has avoided joining a small group at his church for the past 12 years.
Wow! A true giant of the faith.
Despite the pastor at Halvorson's church literally begging the congregation each and every week to join a connection group, the man has somehow managed to escape detection for over a decade.
"Every time the pastor tried to corner me, I had an escape route ready," he told reporters Wednesday. "I'd leap out a window, stiff-arm the pastor and barrel through the crowd, or dive into a nearby ventilation duct and get out that way. The key is to always be on your toes and be ready for anything."
Halvorson says pastors will try "almost anything" to get you to join a small group, so you have to be ready for various tactics. From threats to bribes to tearful pleading, Jacob managed to withstand them all, and now he's a lone ranger Christian who doesn't have to go to an awkward Bible study each and every week.
If only we could all be like Jake!
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.