NEW DELHI—Trump continues to impress the people of India, having just saved a woman from a sniper's bullet targeting the exact center of her forehead.
While everyone else wasn't observant enough to notice the targeting dot planted right on her forehead, Trump's famed observational skills and reaction time saved the day.
"Get down!" Trump bellowed as he spotted the telltale laser dot on her forehead. When the woman froze, unable to understand him, Trump jumped into action, leaping in the way of the sniper's bullet.
The sniper did not end up firing, luckily, but Trump was there to shield her just in case. "He must have gotten scared when he saw my bravery," Trump said as he dusted himself off. "The coward fled like a dog! Like a dumb, scared, baby dog!"
At publishing time, Trump had saved hundreds more women from would-be assassins all across the land.