Politics
Historians Now Believe American Revolution Never Would Have Occurred If Colonists Had Netflix

U.S.—Historians have introduced an interesting new theory: that the American Revolution would never have occurred if the colonists had access to Netflix.

The theory holds that if the American colonists had unlimited access to millions of streaming shows and movies, they would have just kinda accepted the British government's tyranny. 

"We now believe if they'd been able to just hang out in their houses and watch some crazy guy raise a bunch of tigers, the American colonists would have been cool with pretty much any tax the British could have levied," said Dr. Patrick Molin, professor of 18th-century American history. "

Historians have reconstructed likely conversations the colonists would have had instead of declaring independence from Britain:

Thomas Jefferson: Hey, guys, this taxation without representation stuff is getting out of hand. Should we do something about it?

Sam Adams: Yeaaaah, nah. A bonus Tiger King episode just dropped and I am all ABOUT it.

Thomas Jefferson: Whaaaaaat!?!? Oh dang, sorry -- hadn't realized.

Benjamin Franklin: I'm gonna marathon that bad boy but gonna go fly this kite for a few, fam.

John Adams: Man, I wish they still had Battlestar Galactica.

Sam Adams: Yeah, seriously. Shame that fourth season was so bad though.

John Adams: Like, for real.

Luckily for us, they only had sticks and stones to play with, as even basketball had not been invented yet, so they rebelled, or else we'd all still be speaking British.

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