WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic, bipartisan compromise, Congress has approved President Trump’s plans for a border wall, provided the large concrete barrier be built entirely around the city of Hollywood.
The 35-foot-high, two-foot thick concrete wall will deter perverts from attempting to climb, leap over, or burrow under the structure.
“Now this is something we can all get behind,” Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said Thursday. “We’re in full support of securing the borders of this country from the dangerous criminals and ne’er-do-wells in Hollywood.”
Studies suggest the wall will be extraordinarily effective at keeping predators and perverts out of the rest of the country. Some experts believe citizens of Hollywood can make contributions to our country’s culture and economy, but most agree that there needs to be “extreme vetting” of any immigrants from Tinseltown to ensure no “bad apples” make it across the border.
The measure flew through Congress with unprecedented bipartisan support, and construction began almost immediately, according to sources.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.