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House Dems Unveil Surefire Plan To Get Trump Reelected

WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Democrats today announced a new plan to ensure Trump wins the White House again in 2020.

"We hereby unveil these articles of impeachment, which clearly lay out the undeniable fact that we will not win the White House back next year," said Rep. Jerry Nadler. "We have found Trump guilty of absolutely nothing, but we already started this whole process and it would look bad to back out now, so here we are."

"I declare here and now that Trump will be in the White House for at least another four years."

Some questioned if this was the best strategy, but Democrats pointed out that with four more years of Trump, they will be able to generate far more outrage than if they took back the White House. "It's a lot more fun to be extremists and scream at the sky for years and years instead of proposing policies that most Americans support and actually win elections."


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