Worldviews
'I Disagree With Your Ideas,' Man Says In Hateful Call To Violence

NEWARK, NJ—Everyone thought local man Peter O'Brien was a civil, friendly, and tolerant guy. He seemed normal. He seemed agreeable. He never disagreed with anybody or contradicted their ideas. In short, he was a perfectly well-adjusted member of society.

That is, until yesterday, when O'Brien blasted a coworker with these shocking words: "I disagree with your ideas." 

The hateful call to violent attacks on his coworker allegedly occurred during a lunch break. O'Brien just let the words hang in the air, not apologizing, not offering any clarification to the inciteful hate speech.

"Ex-excuse me?" his friend stammered, aghast.

The hateful, violent monster replied coolly, "I disagree with those ideas you just articulated. I still respect you as a person. But I don't think your position is logically sound."

O'Brien's former friend called an HR rep to report the blatant incitement to violence. HR called security. Security called the cops. The cops called the FBI. The FBI called INTERPOL. Finally, a coalition of international police forces arrived to apprehend, isolate, and execute O'Brien right away for calling for violence on an innocent bystander.

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