MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Congresswoman Ilhan Omar proposed a radical solution to the nation’s antisemitism problem: getting rid of all the Jews. The plan is already being embraced by leaders of Hamas, Al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, the government of Iran, and the Democrat party.
“It recently struck me that the common thread among all of these heinous instances of antisemitism is that they are directed towards Jews,” Omar noted at a press conference. “If we can get rid of all the Jews, we can get rid of antisemitism once and for all!”
Omar said her plan doesn't advocate for violence against people of Jewish descent. Instead, she said her plan would be to round up the remaining Jews and move them out of places like Israel and the United States so they will be free from the threat of antisemitic attacks.
“I figure we can just let them wander around the desert somewhere where nobody can bother them,” Omar said. “As long as they’re not in the Middle East, Europe, Africa, Asia, or the Americas, they should be fine. I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year!”
Several other progressive members of Congress have started adapting Omar’s plans to tackle other challenges. Nancy Pelosi has proposed getting rid of Republicans to prevent another attack on the Capitol building, and Bernie Sanders is advocating for getting rid of poor people in order to eliminate poverty.