EL MONTE, CA—"I'm a little worried about what my son is learning school," said a dangerous domestic terrorist at a school board meeting earlier today.
The radical insurrectionist went on to say that "teaching kids to be racist and all about graphic depictions of sex seems a little problematic to me," confirming fears that she has been radicalized by fanatical right-wingers.
She was quickly added to the FBI Most Wanted list after expressing her concern that her children were being influenced by Marxist teachings and radical sex instruction by crazed left-wing nutjobs. Experts say she may be part of a growing number of deranged extremists who violently question the government's ownership of their children by attending the "open comments" portion of a school board meeting.
At publishing time, she had confirmed her belief that parents should be the number-one influence on a child's mind and that the government does not own her children, causing FBI agents to gun her down on the spot, saving us all.
Struggling with your faith? Pondering a deconversion? This exvangelical, who has barely thought about anything she’s ever believed, can help.