In Devastating Blow, Trump Banned From Sun Tan City

U.S.—As corporations rush to cut off Trump and his supporters from their services, reports have emerged that Trump has now been banned from Sun Tan City. 

In what may be the most devastating blow against Trump to date, the national tanning booth chain released a statement on Twitter, saying: "Sun Tan City has, and always will, stand against hate and stuff. Everyone says Trump stands for hate, so it looks like we'll have to stop letting him get his famous tan here."

"I don't know what these people are talking about," said Trump in response. "I don't tan! This is my natural skin tone!" Witnesses contested this, however, after seeing Trump running away from a Sun Tan City in D.C. as the branch manager screeched for him to leave immediately because of his hateful hate.

Confirmed Trump supporters have also been barred from using the establishment and have been encouraged to "build their own" tanning facilities to accommodate "their own kind."

In the following hours, Golden Corral also followed suit. 

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