BREMERTON, WA—Grace Church has the best potlucks, with dozens of church members cheerfully contributing everything from casseroles and fried chicken to that weird jello with icky, floating stuff in it.
But long-time church member Betty Frothington did the unthinkable, going against years of sacred church tradition by bringing a store-bought pie. She tried to pass off the pie as homemade, of course, carefully removing the pie from the grocery store tin and putting it on her own plate.
"Made this from scratch," she said with a smile as she put the pie down in a place of honor on the dessert table. "It's hard work baking a pie every Saturday night, but it's worth it to help provide sustenance to the Lord's people."
Church members began to grow suspicious as the pie was "simply too round to be homemade" and had "no weird-tasting ingredients thrown in." Finally, Frothington was forced to empty her pockets, revealing darning evidence: a Safeway receipt listing one pie for $8.99.
Frothington has been banned from potluck signups for the rest of the season and stripped of her first-place chili cook-off award from last summer.
"I'm sorry for the people I have hurt," Betty said after her transgression was revealed to the congregation. "Yes, it's true -- I bought the pie at Safeway. I forgot we were having a potluck this morning and just stopped in to pick it up real quick. I know it will take a long time to rebuild the trust of this church, but I hope I can prove myself worthy to be included in future potlucks."