DURHAM, NC—According to reports from Mountaintop Haven Gathering Church, outdoor worship plans hit a snag when projector screens were not bright enough to display song lyrics to the congregation, who assembled outside in a field next to the church building due to COVID-19 restrictions.
Sources confirm the church attempted to pass out hymnals, but most members of the modern church were flummoxed by the strange books with odd markings. “They were totally lost,” said lead guitarist Stone ‘Shred Of Life’ McMasterson. “They’re so used to looking up and reading off a screen. They just stared at us like zombies.”
Then bassist Kyle ‘McRiff’ Claypool had an idea. Repurposing the funds meant for the lobby’s locked-down gourmet cold brew coffee shop, the church hired a local pilot to write the song lyrics in the sky over the church during the service.
Unfortunately, the budget was quickly exhausted by the amount of airplane fuel required to spell out the chorus of “What A Beautiful Name” 30 times.